February 2010

Sea Monkeys are quite possibly the most awesome pet on earth. I've began thinking however - what would it be like to BE a sea monkey? After extensive research, (a couple of hours browsing the internet), I have found the top six reasons to come back as a sea monkey....specifically a FEMALE sea monkey.

6. FAME and FORTUNE

Okay, maybe not fortune, but definitely fame. Since being marketed in 1957, Sea Monkeys have been glamorized by comic books, sold in gum ball machines and even had their own television series (which unfortunately only lasted 11 episodes).

The series Amazing Live Sea Monkeys was based on a story of a Professor, and his result of an experiment gone wrong, three human sized sea monkeys.

How many living things do you know that are epic enough to be sold in a gumball machine? Yeah...that's what I thought!

5. EATING = ATTRACTIVENESS

Humans have to loosen our pants after eating....Sea Monkeys bare it all! That didn't come out quite right... Sea Monkeys have a green or brown stripe on their belly that can only be seen after belly expansion caused by consuming food. Thus, the more they eat, the more attractive they become.

Oh my....this trait would be dangerously delicious!

4. FOOD IS CHEAP AND EASY

This fact is not for the faint of heart....nor stomach. Sea Monkeys mainly consume algae, such a resilient food source! Some types can even grow on snow or ice. This is great and all, but there's a reason that Sea Monkeys' ecosystems are almost entirely self sustainable - Sea Monkeys eat their own by products - poop, moltings and their deceased family members.

Puts a new spin on Reduce, Reuse, Recycle doesn't it?

3. SPECIES IS NEARLY INDESTRUCTABLE

When buying the little critters, their embryos are all tucked in, cozy and comfy in a small packet. The embryos contain a moisture level of about 6% - 10%, thus there is no measurable metabolism. This allows them to be stored for years before "bringing them to life" with water. Experiments have shown that their dried embryos can last up to 50 years, but some scientists speculate that they may be able to last up to 1000 years! 2012 can kiss their grits....the little ragamuffins can live through anything!

2. ADORNED WITH THREE EYES

Have you always wished for the gift of clairvoyance? Perhaps the higher consciousness of the mystical "Third Eye"? Sea Monkeys most likely are not enlightened creatures, they're a type of brine shrimp after all, but they do have the gift of a third eye. They are born with one naupliar eye, attributed to primitive development. As they age, they develop two compound eyes containing light sensitive photoreceptors, and the first eye becomes invaluable.

Three eyes = Supreme Awesomeness

1. FEMALES ARE SUPREMELY BLESSED IN THE WAYS OF SHAG

Female Sea Monkeys have it made sexually.... their romantic counterpart, the male, is doubly endowed! That's right, single mate - double the fun! Perhaps the abundance of reproductive organs of the male gender means that justifiably, there are less males than females in a "Squall" or group of Sea Monkeys. Lucky for the females....if there are not enough males to go around, they can give a whole new meaning to "Girl Power". Two females can mate and produce cysts (eggs) just as easily as a male with a female. In addition to this fun fact, Sea Monkeys' mate for up to two to three days, twirling and dancing about the tank.

Enough said.